Understanding Preeto through an Empathy Map

Meet Preeto – a 58 year old successful immigrant from New Delhi, India. He has been married to the same woman for 32 years, has two children and is the youngest of four siblings. Although having made a name for himself in his industry of work, he chose to start his own business that has been growing and excelling since inception.  I chose Preeto as the focus of this blog because he, like many men with his background and environment, are typical in some ways but unique in so many other ways. 

Preeto is a simple man from the outside, but quite complex when you take a deeper look. His thoughts are generally on a few common attributes: financial stability, business success and companionship. However the key between all three themes is the preservation of his reputation. 

Ultimately it all ties back to his reputation, whether it is with his peers or with his family. When he feels his reputation is being compromised, his guard goes up and his short temper may flash red for a moment. Those who know how to manage this generally gain his trust quickly, which at times can be hard to come by for the average person. However if you were to ask him if this was the case, he would likely deny because he is quite prideful in the moment. And I say in the moment because he may be tough to crack in a heated debate or discussion, but he has the capacity to wave the white flag further down the line. If you have patience and are willing to concede early, you are likely to get the apology you think you deserve! 

What does Preeto see? Success. 

He is a success-oriented man, which is a principal that has driven him to his own success today. Ask his children and they will tell you that grades and professional success were the most common topics of discussion. Again, this ties back to his sense of reputation and pride. Preeto takes great joy and pride when his son gets an impressive scholarship for school or when he is recognized for his business accomplishments. Although he strives for success for himself and his family, this does not necessarily bleed into those outside of his immediate world. He is not judgmental about others successes and material belongings, or lack thereof. He sees people for who they are at face value, and as a result he and his wife have a very large social circle with a set of core friends that he socializes with on a weekly basis. 

This abundance of friends and a highly active social network is a prime example of his evolution over time. When he was a young man with the burden of his demanding job and pressure to provide for his family on his shoulders, engaging in social activity was more of a chore that was left to his wife to maintain. But now that he is an empty-nester and has an established business, you can find him indulging in social gatherings and travel excursions around the world. Preeto is learning to live life to the fullest and his family enjoys this new "laid back" persona.

Usually his response to a question or small request is “No.” 

This is where his traditional Indian background really comes into play. By nature he is a conservative man on many dimensions – spending money, values, the role of a man and woman in the household and taking risks. But his initial “No” can usually be changed into a “Yes” or at best a “Maybe” by reasoning and having a discussion. Now put this same scenario in a public setting in front of people he wants to maintain a positive impression with, and you will always get a “Yes.” This pattern tends to make Preeto a bit predictable at times and sometimes difficult to work with because you are left unsure about his actual and final decision. However, Preeto has a very big heart when it comes to his friends and family – another area that has evolved as he has gotten older. He enjoys giving presents to his family for Christmas and will willingly foot the bill of a big dinner with friends. 

Preeto hears praise from his peers and friends, and he also is not afraid of hearing his own praise when needed.In a large business meeting, he will often address his successes and accomplishments to establish his credibility with his audience. This is more common in the workplace and less in his social setting, where he is more of a friendly and unassuming man that will engage in conversation with just about everyone and make a positive impression doing so. As mentioned earlier, the fear of hurting his reputation, and losing the positive impression he has made on those around him, is crippling. It is extremely important that he feels well respected and loved otherwise you will see his defensive demeanor rear its ugly head. 

Assuming he doesn’t already have it, Preeto hopes to gain your respect and admiration. He is not a materialistic person so although he values business success, abundance of wealth isn’t his ultimate goal – stability and comfort are his main goals and metrics of accomplishment. 

Preeto is a fascinating person with so many layers that continuously evolve as time goes on. I’ve known him for 27 years and he continues to inspire, to surprise and to challenge me every single day – Preeto is my amazing Dad (name is being protected in fear of getting grounded - yes he still has that power). Happy Birthday Dad!